Uncommon common sense / "Ethan Brooks" gimmick thread
Let me start:
Went to the doctor the other week
My wife made the appointment
She said I "look tired"
I said I am tired
She said "not normal tired. Weird tired."
I don't know what that means but I went anyway
Nice office
Fish tank in the lobby
Third one this year
Signed in at 1:48pm
My appointment was at 2:00pm
12 minutes early
Because I was raised to believe that matters
The receptionist said "the doctor is running a little behind"
I said "how far behind"
She said "about 45 minutes"
I said "so my 2:00 appointment is actually a 2:45 appointment"
She said "we appreciate your patience"
I said "I haven't shown any yet"
My wife grabbed my arm
There was a sign behind the desk
"Missed appointments without 24-hour notice will incur a $75 fee"
The doctor was 45 minutes late
Nobody offered me $75
We sat down
CNN was playing on mute with subtitles
Running a segment about New York City redesigning its trash cans
Cost the city $4 million
I looked at my wife
She said "don't start"
Seven magazines on the table
All from 2019
I read an article about supply chain disruptions that have since been resolved
Very informative
My wife was on her phone
She looked up and said "WebMD says you might be dehydrated"
I said "so we're paying $1,800 for a second opinion on WebMD"
She went back to her phone
At 2:54pm they called my name
A nurse walked me to a room
Took my blood pressure
Took my temperature
Typed for three minutes
Then said "the doctor will be right in"
I sat on the paper
The paper ripped immediately
I looked at the wall
There was a diagram of a colon
Not how I planned to spend my Tuesday
3:19pm
The doctor walked in
1 hour and 19 minutes after my scheduled appointment
He was looking at his phone
Shook my hand without making eye contact
Sat down and read my chart for about 30 seconds
While I sat there watching him learn who I was
He said "so what brings you in today"
I said "my wife thinks I look weird tired"
He said "what does that mean"
I said "I was hoping you'd tell me"
He said "when's the last time you had bloodwork done"
I said "2019 maybe"
He said "we should run a full panel"
I said "fine"
He asked if I was sleeping well
I said "I have three kids and a golden retriever who thinks 3am is a reasonable time to need outside"
He said "are you drinking enough water"
I said "probably not"
He said "that might be it"
I said "you think the reason I look weird tired is because I don't drink enough water"
He said "dehydration is more common than people think"
I said "I've been here over an hour and sat on a piece of paper that ripped to be told to drink water"
He said "we'll know more when the bloodwork comes back"
I said "when will that be"
He said "3 to 5 business days"
I said "business days"
He said "yes"
I said "my blood has business days"
He didn't respond
Then he said "any other concerns"
I said "several. But none you can bill for."
He shook my hand again
Still no eye contact
Total face time with the doctor: 6 minutes
Total time in the building: 1 hour and 37 minutes
I was examined for approximately 6% of the time I was present
I've fired people for better numbers than that
My wife was in the waiting room
She asked how it went
I said "I need to drink water"
She said "I told you that last week"
I said "yes but now it's a medical opinion so it costs $1,800"
She didn't laugh
In the car she said "at least now you know you're fine"
I said "I was fine when I walked in. I just didn't have the receipt to prove it."
She didn't disagree
The bloodwork came back four business days later
Everything was normal
The doctor's office sent a message through their portal
It said "results look great. Continue to stay hydrated and follow up in 12 months."
Follow up in 12 months
To be told to drink water again
$1,800
1 hour and 37 minutes
6 minutes of face time
One ripped piece of paper
And the same advice my wife gave me for free
Plz fix. Thx.
Sent from my iPhone
Went to the doctor the other week
My wife made the appointment
She said I "look tired"
I said I am tired
She said "not normal tired. Weird tired."
I don't know what that means but I went anyway
Nice office
Fish tank in the lobby
Third one this year
Signed in at 1:48pm
My appointment was at 2:00pm
12 minutes early
Because I was raised to believe that matters
The receptionist said "the doctor is running a little behind"
I said "how far behind"
She said "about 45 minutes"
I said "so my 2:00 appointment is actually a 2:45 appointment"
She said "we appreciate your patience"
I said "I haven't shown any yet"
My wife grabbed my arm
There was a sign behind the desk
"Missed appointments without 24-hour notice will incur a $75 fee"
The doctor was 45 minutes late
Nobody offered me $75
We sat down
CNN was playing on mute with subtitles
Running a segment about New York City redesigning its trash cans
Cost the city $4 million
I looked at my wife
She said "don't start"
Seven magazines on the table
All from 2019
I read an article about supply chain disruptions that have since been resolved
Very informative
My wife was on her phone
She looked up and said "WebMD says you might be dehydrated"
I said "so we're paying $1,800 for a second opinion on WebMD"
She went back to her phone
At 2:54pm they called my name
A nurse walked me to a room
Took my blood pressure
Took my temperature
Typed for three minutes
Then said "the doctor will be right in"
I sat on the paper
The paper ripped immediately
I looked at the wall
There was a diagram of a colon
Not how I planned to spend my Tuesday
3:19pm
The doctor walked in
1 hour and 19 minutes after my scheduled appointment
He was looking at his phone
Shook my hand without making eye contact
Sat down and read my chart for about 30 seconds
While I sat there watching him learn who I was
He said "so what brings you in today"
I said "my wife thinks I look weird tired"
He said "what does that mean"
I said "I was hoping you'd tell me"
He said "when's the last time you had bloodwork done"
I said "2019 maybe"
He said "we should run a full panel"
I said "fine"
He asked if I was sleeping well
I said "I have three kids and a golden retriever who thinks 3am is a reasonable time to need outside"
He said "are you drinking enough water"
I said "probably not"
He said "that might be it"
I said "you think the reason I look weird tired is because I don't drink enough water"
He said "dehydration is more common than people think"
I said "I've been here over an hour and sat on a piece of paper that ripped to be told to drink water"
He said "we'll know more when the bloodwork comes back"
I said "when will that be"
He said "3 to 5 business days"
I said "business days"
He said "yes"
I said "my blood has business days"
He didn't respond
Then he said "any other concerns"
I said "several. But none you can bill for."
He shook my hand again
Still no eye contact
Total face time with the doctor: 6 minutes
Total time in the building: 1 hour and 37 minutes
I was examined for approximately 6% of the time I was present
I've fired people for better numbers than that
My wife was in the waiting room
She asked how it went
I said "I need to drink water"
She said "I told you that last week"
I said "yes but now it's a medical opinion so it costs $1,800"
She didn't laugh
In the car she said "at least now you know you're fine"
I said "I was fine when I walked in. I just didn't have the receipt to prove it."
She didn't disagree
The bloodwork came back four business days later
Everything was normal
The doctor's office sent a message through their portal
It said "results look great. Continue to stay hydrated and follow up in 12 months."
Follow up in 12 months
To be told to drink water again
$1,800
1 hour and 37 minutes
6 minutes of face time
One ripped piece of paper
And the same advice my wife gave me for free
Plz fix. Thx.
Sent from my iPhone
I""'m tired too, just hit up a support forum for my Lenovo laptop again and ended up deleting some cached system updates. That""'s how I feel.
[JP]