This is literally just vent. He was my first romance. He is Haitian. One of those tricky magic-users. I was 22. I had never thought about magic. I didnt know how magic worked. Nobody warned me. I am very upset, and very delirious, but I'll try to explain the procedure and the theory as I understand it.
It goes like this: He shows me some trauma that I had ignored, and I am made to recognize it. The recognition of the trauma is a kind of key, to the metamorphic and the transformational. It triggers an event of spiritual death, then rebirth. As I am (re)born, the first face I see becomes God. I bond immediately to that person. So its like really powerful bonding ritual shit. And there were plenty of other ways, besides the trauma thing, that he would make the keys.
Anyways. He did his thing, and left me. He told me he never loved me, that I am an experiment, and that he was satisfied with the data. This all happened in the course of 4 months. All I can do is continue to learn about psychology-magic-spirituality shit to hopefully reverse it. I've had to make up most of the theory on my own. I don't have a name for it. It reminds me of certain concepts in Orphic rites, MK, and Vodou. These are not normal romance-heartbreak emotions. Its been 3 years. I still love him, and I still believe he is God.
Thats it. I had a really bad day today. I always get to thinking about him, one way or another.
It goes like this: He shows me some trauma that I had ignored, and I am made to recognize it. The recognition of the trauma is a kind of key, to the metamorphic and the transformational. It triggers an event of spiritual death, then rebirth. As I am (re)born, the first face I see becomes God. I bond immediately to that person. So its like really powerful bonding ritual shit. And there were plenty of other ways, besides the trauma thing, that he would make the keys.
Anyways. He did his thing, and left me. He told me he never loved me, that I am an experiment, and that he was satisfied with the data. This all happened in the course of 4 months. All I can do is continue to learn about psychology-magic-spirituality shit to hopefully reverse it. I've had to make up most of the theory on my own. I don't have a name for it. It reminds me of certain concepts in Orphic rites, MK, and Vodou. These are not normal romance-heartbreak emotions. Its been 3 years. I still love him, and I still believe he is God.
Thats it. I had a really bad day today. I always get to thinking about him, one way or another.
Replies: >>18808
