Masturbation sucks thread
I've been clean off of masturbation for about 20 days, but I can't help looking at "soft porn". I know that the only thing I have to do is not look at it but I find it hard and how do I even harness the benefits of semen retention? Hopefully you guys can. Share your experiences and how you have successfully overcome this horrible addiction.
[GB]
You could do more productive things instead of jerking off like learning a new language or prayer
[US]
Well first step is to respond with the benefits that you thought you might receive from semen retention. The next step is to ask yourself are you feeling any of these benefits. If you go months and months without jerking off , then fine go back to jerking off but at least give it a proper go before you give in. You can spend the rest of your life jerking off but you're only giving yourself this opportunity to take a break from it.
[JP]
[VPN]
What's wrong with masturbation alone? I believe pornography changes the qualities of masturbation. When's the last time you've done it without material? The experience is different, almost feels clinical.
We tend to look down on our natural compulsions, and would prefer if we could turn them all off, especially Western people who've inherited the puritanism of Christian culture. I wish I could too though, because I don't think sexuality is that enriching to the human experience. Sometimes I sit down to study, and I just can't focus. My ideal would be to carry on and act as if I'm unbothered, but on the other hand I could just deal with it and turn my full attention to my study. Is it noble to resist this compulsion for the sake of an arbitrary moral?
This is subjective, but I believe every few days is alright. I wouldn't say the ridiculous thing some do that "masturbation is healthy" for you. Eating your vegetables and exercising regularly are healthy, masturbating is not. It's not unhealthy either, if it's not excessive. It's indifferent to health.
Pornography is the real problem. More than anything, it's the fact that most production is inarguably unethical, as they target women in vulnerable positions who can't fight back the violation. Drug-use on set is abundant and facilitated by production, ostensibly to manage pain but I wouldn't be surprised if they sedate them to make them agreeable and complacent. Lying and blackmailing go on. I don't like OnlyFans, but at least it's an ethical improvement over mainstream studios. It's not ideal that our culture is so engaged with porn, but you can't change that.
As I said, masturbation without stimuli feels almost clinical, at least for me I find it's difficult unless you're really pent up. Arousing material makes it possible to go beyond your personal natural frequency, and it transforms masturbation into a simulation of the sexual act. Where I differ from others frequently is that I believe a married man is cheating if he is using porn. Sorry to the masturbators of Reddit with le epic wives, but you cannot believe monogamy is morally correct while also using pornography to simulate sex with other women. Thoughts are not necessarily moral or amoral because we do not totally control our thoughts, but conscious action is definitely moral or immoral, and masturbating to porn is an action. One which has very strong psychological effects. The reason our culture took no moral stance on this was because it is convenient to ignore this question, it gives a socially-morally acceptable form of infidelity, much like the old practice of concubinage.
I've really gone off, but to return to the original post, I see masturbation itself as being indifferent in morality and in healthiness. As frequently as you feel is necessary (that is, to keep sexual feelings from disrupting your daily activity) is fine. Pornography changes the act of masturbation into a whole other thing though. It is ethically and morally dubious, enables us to do it more frequently than is natural for us, and tends to make us feel bad. I find if I do it without material, I never feel guilt. I've failed to talk about how I think porn is the actual mechanism of addiction in frequent masturbators too, mostly because it's just speculation. Anecdotal evidence points to this though. OP has gone this long without masturbating yet is still compelled to look at porn. It's not the first time I've heard of this either. So, is masturbation the problem or the porn? It isn't necessarily both; maybe for some people, but typically not. They're assumed to both be the problem because I guess people lack nuance. Or perhaps because both are believed to be necessarily joined.
Try just doing it without material, without thinking if possible, and only so often as you need to keep the feelings from disrupting life. That way is much better for you, and it's manageable. We can't all be monks.
We tend to look down on our natural compulsions, and would prefer if we could turn them all off, especially Western people who've inherited the puritanism of Christian culture. I wish I could too though, because I don't think sexuality is that enriching to the human experience. Sometimes I sit down to study, and I just can't focus. My ideal would be to carry on and act as if I'm unbothered, but on the other hand I could just deal with it and turn my full attention to my study. Is it noble to resist this compulsion for the sake of an arbitrary moral?
This is subjective, but I believe every few days is alright. I wouldn't say the ridiculous thing some do that "masturbation is healthy" for you. Eating your vegetables and exercising regularly are healthy, masturbating is not. It's not unhealthy either, if it's not excessive. It's indifferent to health.
Pornography is the real problem. More than anything, it's the fact that most production is inarguably unethical, as they target women in vulnerable positions who can't fight back the violation. Drug-use on set is abundant and facilitated by production, ostensibly to manage pain but I wouldn't be surprised if they sedate them to make them agreeable and complacent. Lying and blackmailing go on. I don't like OnlyFans, but at least it's an ethical improvement over mainstream studios. It's not ideal that our culture is so engaged with porn, but you can't change that.
As I said, masturbation without stimuli feels almost clinical, at least for me I find it's difficult unless you're really pent up. Arousing material makes it possible to go beyond your personal natural frequency, and it transforms masturbation into a simulation of the sexual act. Where I differ from others frequently is that I believe a married man is cheating if he is using porn. Sorry to the masturbators of Reddit with le epic wives, but you cannot believe monogamy is morally correct while also using pornography to simulate sex with other women. Thoughts are not necessarily moral or amoral because we do not totally control our thoughts, but conscious action is definitely moral or immoral, and masturbating to porn is an action. One which has very strong psychological effects. The reason our culture took no moral stance on this was because it is convenient to ignore this question, it gives a socially-morally acceptable form of infidelity, much like the old practice of concubinage.
I've really gone off, but to return to the original post, I see masturbation itself as being indifferent in morality and in healthiness. As frequently as you feel is necessary (that is, to keep sexual feelings from disrupting your daily activity) is fine. Pornography changes the act of masturbation into a whole other thing though. It is ethically and morally dubious, enables us to do it more frequently than is natural for us, and tends to make us feel bad. I find if I do it without material, I never feel guilt. I've failed to talk about how I think porn is the actual mechanism of addiction in frequent masturbators too, mostly because it's just speculation. Anecdotal evidence points to this though. OP has gone this long without masturbating yet is still compelled to look at porn. It's not the first time I've heard of this either. So, is masturbation the problem or the porn? It isn't necessarily both; maybe for some people, but typically not. They're assumed to both be the problem because I guess people lack nuance. Or perhaps because both are believed to be necessarily joined.
Try just doing it without material, without thinking if possible, and only so often as you need to keep the feelings from disrupting life. That way is much better for you, and it's manageable. We can't all be monks.
Replies:
>>10643
I never got boosters. You mean to say you disagree; care to articulate why?
I kicked all porn and sexual imagery half a year ago. I still masturbate when I start getting too distracted by lust. It's not really my intention to stop masturbation but it might just happen on its own. Frankly the benefits from not watching porn have exceeded my expectations and I would recommend it to everyone. I am more content with everyday than ever before and on top of that things are simply more interesting now all across the board. Semen retention sounds like reddit voodoo to me.
If one actually wants to kick the habit here is what I did (on top of ACTUALLY wanting to stop):
1. Decide to stop watching any sexual imagery for pleasure
Previously I had tried to quit multiple times but frankly I lost because I didn't see the problem with softcore. Now I've realized that it's all pathological and frankly just pathetic. In any case giving even one inch meant giving in completely (this was my experience with it).
2. Stop using my old phone
I noticed that every time I tried to quit there were certain triggers that lead to me watching it again. Basically it was my phone and my brain's association with porn. Usually this also happened during laying in bed. What I did was I just set my phone off and put it on top of my closet out of sight. I found an old phone that I use for calling and alarms to replace it. There is no association with porn so the transition was seamless although it does have access to the internet.
3. Stop using any site that shows sexual images
I had ditched 4chan earlier due to low quality posts and realizing that I did not want to spend time there. This was basically the only one where I would see any.
I still have site blockers on router and as browser addons but frankly I have not had to try them since I decided to stop for real with all the experience I had. I guess I'll keep them as reminders of how bad things used to be.
>10637
True and real (all of it). Only thing I would add to is that you can completely ignore the immorality of porn industry argument by moving the conversation to drawings/generated porn in which case the only person you are hurting is yourself. Except that that is immoral. Porn is just about the most stimulating thing you can find that is not drugs and we know what happen to regular drug users lives. They simply don't feel as content or happy outside the drug use as normal people. Yes, normal people, not most people.
If one actually wants to kick the habit here is what I did (on top of ACTUALLY wanting to stop):
1. Decide to stop watching any sexual imagery for pleasure
Previously I had tried to quit multiple times but frankly I lost because I didn't see the problem with softcore. Now I've realized that it's all pathological and frankly just pathetic. In any case giving even one inch meant giving in completely (this was my experience with it).
2. Stop using my old phone
I noticed that every time I tried to quit there were certain triggers that lead to me watching it again. Basically it was my phone and my brain's association with porn. Usually this also happened during laying in bed. What I did was I just set my phone off and put it on top of my closet out of sight. I found an old phone that I use for calling and alarms to replace it. There is no association with porn so the transition was seamless although it does have access to the internet.
3. Stop using any site that shows sexual images
I had ditched 4chan earlier due to low quality posts and realizing that I did not want to spend time there. This was basically the only one where I would see any.
I still have site blockers on router and as browser addons but frankly I have not had to try them since I decided to stop for real with all the experience I had. I guess I'll keep them as reminders of how bad things used to be.
>10637
True and real (all of it). Only thing I would add to is that you can completely ignore the immorality of porn industry argument by moving the conversation to drawings/generated porn in which case the only person you are hurting is yourself. Except that that is immoral. Porn is just about the most stimulating thing you can find that is not drugs and we know what happen to regular drug users lives. They simply don't feel as content or happy outside the drug use as normal people. Yes, normal people, not most people.
i used to be a chronic wanker, like REALLY bad, i'm talking like sometimes 6 times a day, maybe more, but i realized that it was making my interactions with people in public/ in general more awkward for some reason, because i knew that i was guilty, so i worked on it and negotiated that even if i do it several days in a row (which i usually don't anymore) i am limited to 2 sessions a day, and i might have found a workaround after that
[US-TX]