Probability of your soul mate

0 replies
0 attachments
Started 3h ago

Well, generally looking at the raw math destroys hope, but some people refuse to give up on their romantic notions, so let us say that you have a 50% probability of actually getting off the computer and trying to meet someone regardless of what I write.

The meme states that "there are no girls on the internet," so you have a 50/50 chance of human contact. By leaving your house, there is a 100% chance that you will eventually meet someone. If each human has a 50% chance of being born female, then you now have a 1/4 chance of meeting "a girl." The other 3 chances were either wasted on the internet and/or talking to dudes.

If you choose to remain on the internet, you can still have a "relationship," but only through the text, pictures, and occasional video files posted. It would be impossible for us to be sure if the entity posting was a girl, therefore we can't calculate the odds of it being a girl. However, you either care about this or you don't, which is about 50/50, so you have a 1/4 chance of having a happy "relationship" if you remain online.

So far, we've proven you have a 50/50 chance of staying on the internet, since your odds of happyness inside and out are only 1/4. So you can meet a girl, meet a guy, stay on the internet hating yourself, or stay on the internet and have fun with it.

Now, assuming you don't change your mind by leaving or going back on the internet, we can deal with the two populations separately. 50% of the population are female, and you have a 50/50 shot of being happy on the internet. This gives us better looking odds of success.

Now, Sturgeon's law clearly states that "90% of science fiction is trash," so 9/10 women are reminded of a bad experience every time someone tries to introduce them to science fiction. However, it later states that "90% of everything is trash," and includes everything from film to consumer goods. If "teach your child" products count as consumer goods, then 9/10 people are reminded of a bad experience every time someone tries to introduce them to reading books or learning math.

So if 50% of the population is female, you have a 5/100 shot of meeting a girl who likes reading, if you count everything from Shakespear to Twilight. 5 out of every 100 girls will also like science fiction if you don't look too deeply. However, only 5 in 1000 will both watch the movie and read the Douglas Adams books. Meanwhile, to get someone who likes Invader Zim, you have to find someone who can tolerate both science fiction AND cartoons.

Science fiction, books, movies, and cartoons puts us at a combined 1/10,000. You can increase the population density by going to conventions, but the population total is only about 0.0005%. Meanwhile, if the "1/5 rule" holds true for women, then a given girl is either single, in a relationship, on the rebound, cheating, or a lesbian. That means only the one in 1/10,000 is completely available.


As for mathematics, 1/10 can tolerate addition, 1/10 can tolerate subtraction, 1/10 multiplication, 1/10 division, so 5/1,000 can tolerate recreational algebra. Add in that 1/10 also love fantasy and 5/10,000 can join a game of D&D. Your odds of finding someone to listen to your mathematical ramblings is 1 / (10 * n), with n being the number of mathematical concepts employed. Divide by two if you're only interested in women and multiply that by 1/10,000 we got for Zim+HGTG. Calculus is basic alebra, plus limits, whose explanation requires the sometimes separate cartesian coordinate system to graph so its basically 1,000,000. A girl who can have fun with calculus is literally "one in a million."

So what does this mean, besides telling every calculus-loving girl you literally did the math? Well, if the world population is about 6,800,000,000, then there are 3,400 women who are single and can appreciate calculus. Another 6,800 are either on the rebound or willing to cheat. While your recent break up made it 6,801, there are 3,399 men in the world who held on to their relationships with these mathematical beauties, and another 3,400 are lesbians, possibly with each other.

Thus we can say with relative certainity that there are 6,800,000 women in the world who can appreciate science fiction, but none of them are on the internet.

Reply





Max 10MB per file. Allowed: images, videos, audio, PDF, text, zip