(referencing the classic: Digital Cargo Cult: How Zoomers Ruined Old Internet Nostalgia)
i am going to include random shit. elements to include or reference in the final piece. everything below is a prototype
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When's the last time you had a spontaneous and meaningful one on one interaction with another person on the internet that wasn't performative and done in front of an audience? Memes were a very small part of what made the internet special. You elevate memes in importance because they are the only aspect of the old internet you can ever experience, you'll never organically discover another person or uncover a mystery, you'll never raid, you'll never take over a space, you can only watch shitty YouTube videos about other people's lives and wait for the next trend or hashtag to come around.
Zoomer Lingo is a Symptom of Civilizational Collapse
The entire younger generation of people on the internet nowadays speaks in a bizarre mixture of ebonics and incel & imageboard lingo, mostly because it's funny in the latter's case. I mean, "foid" in particular is fucking hilarious, who the fuck is gonna take such a silly-sounding slur, aimed at half of the world's population, seriously? That's probably why normalfags adopted it so quickly despite its root in incky inceloid culture, it's funny, much like chud.
the below is a very funny quote that should be kept somewhere relevant:
Look at yourself in the eyes for 60 seconds, in the mirror in your bathroom, with no additional stimuli, zoomer. If you do the full 60 seconds and come back still interested in the fucking nigger culture drivel you just posted, you should find the nearest location to rope. You're an internet addicted faggot. Not only are you a faggot, you have a twatter account, you posted a twatter link, no webm or subtitles, and then when prompted to explain your fucking faggotry you verbally recited fucking ebonics white trash talk in an explanation format for the other fucking faggot who actually clicked your twatter link.
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Special Mention: Heyuri
I have briefly looked at heyuri a few times and it seems to be made up of mostly late teens and early 20's posters roleplaying as 2000's internet users. Not a big fan of the whole "fake nostalgia" thing.
The guys that run it since are only interested in being treated as the community's kool kids. Everything else including retro is secondary to having their dick sucked.
Controlled opposition to the Sharty, since the owners of Heyuri used to also be former owners of the Sharty.
the site is run by a retard and his group of equally retarded friends who seem to only be interested in attracting low quality posters.
Heyuri's rule 8 is a fairly good idea to clear the site of some of the worst cancer of modern imageboards but the whole site worships this rule like it was created in some benevolent crusade against the modern internet even though it was created by the guy who literally used to own the fucking sharty.
the worst thing is that the whole site is explicitly meant for people to larp as being on /b/ circa 2006 or so they claim that they want to create new content rather than just copy old 4chan but all they ever seem to create is unfunny pictures that copy old 4chan stuff but with Yotsuba replaced with their own mascot (or other postings to the like).
old 4chan was haruhi and lucky star guys.
>>clowned on
This is a 4chan thread. You are an ebonics-spamming zoomer. Newfags always out themselves by trying to ascribe social media norms to this place.
They have this romanticized idea of the old Internet where browsing people's shitty Geocities websites was some sort of fulfilling activity forever lost to time.
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The Default State of the Modern Web
The default state of any website today is to be downriver and reactionary to whatever happens on the big sites, complete with screenshots and shared slang and mannerisms. When every site is the same why would people go to a different one? They already have it at "home". The internet of today is groups of people waiting for twitter/etc to invent new culture so they can repost and react to it. They are cavemen huddled in a corner awaiting someone to deliver fire to them each day.
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Shit to Point and Laugh At
mention whatever can be extracted from https://desuarchive.org/g/thread/110001249/#110001249 for example
grab a funny post from r/windows7, r/fruitigeraero, https://frutigeraeroarchive.org/
here's some shit i found
nigger word is so damaging to a website.png
AHHHHHH SOMEONE SPAMMED NIGGER ON MY SITE I WILL MAKE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT LIKE THIS IS SO FUCKING CRAZY WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THIS ON MY OLD INTERNET OR SOMETHING WTF PEOPLE DIDNT SAY NIGGER IN THE OLD INTERNET :(
All of this stupid larp around old tech and the internet is just cargo cult retardation. It exists solely for people that are incapable of building something better than the current hellscape to feel like they're doing something.
Lets check in on that ZDiskuss site:
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
IT'S FUCKING DEAD
AND CUCKFLARED!!!
Cuckflare is *VERY* old Internet you have to understand!
zdiskuss DEAD CUCKFLARED.png
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It's Anemoia, not Nostalgia. Get it right!!!
The zoomers story is "my parents failed in raising me so I now have a Twitter and Discord account at age 13-16 and got groomed into becoming a Mini-Me of some 40 year old somethingawful user who uses me as an expy/flesh puppet to whine about the nu-internet while not actually doing anything about it consequence-free"
99% of old internet zoomers I see on the internet are ages 16-18 and have had accounts during the beginning of the pandemic meaning they were still in MIDDLE SCHOOL when their parents utterly failed them and put a phone in their face instead of raising them properly
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Dead Internet Theory is Actually Brown Internet Theory
"The Old Internet" can only exist in a super majority (>90%) dominated space consisting of White males (White being of central and northern European descent).
The moment you start catering to demographics outside of this range you have to lower every connected facet, even the way in which you talk and elaborate upon ideas has to change.
Admit it, we all know the internet was better in the 90s and early 00's because it was majority White males.
total internet users Brown Internet Theory.jpg
^^^ DEAD INTERNET THEORY IS, IN REALITY, BROWN INTERNET THEORY
THE DECLINE OF THE INTERNET COINCIDES DIRECTLY WITH THE RISE OF THE THIRD WORLD CONNECTING TO THE INTERNET
ZOOMERS, MOSTLY BEING REDDIT-TIER ANTIRACISTS REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS AND BLAME IT ON THE CORPORATIONS WITHOUT EVER ASKING THEMSELVES ***WHY*** THE CORPORATIONS WOULD STOP CARING FOR THEIR ORIGINAL AUDIENCE
Dead Internet Theory is just people noticing that the internet is now majority brown (garbage and consumerist) and misidentifying the cause. Zoomers are also misremembering late web 2.0 and blaming capitalism instead of their own lack of creativity.
They prefer to take the old thing and try to prop its skinsuit up instead of making something truly creative and original using the technologies that existed. By trying to mimick an "old Internet" you turn it into a fake piece of shit. "old Internet" is not a thing or an idea. It is simple creativity put inside of the primitive technologies that happened to exist back then.
Nostalgiafaggots miss this entirely. Many such cases!
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The future is a room temperature IQ (fahrenheit) mulattoe zoomer telling chat gpt to make a 2 hour long AI audio-graphic video essay bemoaning the death of the internet while millions of other room temperature IQ (celsius) mulattoe zoomers watch 20 second single-word caption """"short"""" recaps of this content in the normal course of their daily 16 hour curated content doomscrollery.