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What the fuck is a skeleton key?

How practical would warhammer 40k weaponry and armor be irl?

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Anonymous · original post · 2026-07-04 04:30:29

>>21651
He's used it to fell more logs than he has xenos. Unless you count xenos logs.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 04:38:13

>>21653
I am joking, and to be fair, he uses one of the two handed ones, which are noted to incorporate a rudimentary disruption field generator(the things power weapons use), because their original use was as anti vehicle weapons.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 04:39:37

>Oh that tall bald guy with a funny lizard tattoo that needs to walk on his knees inside the building?
>that's Edd
>no, not Eddy that's the other tall guy
>could be Edmund though, or maybe Eddy, definitely not Edward though
>Eduardo is fetching coffee, Ed is out for smoke
>men we sure have a lot of men with suspiciously identical height and zero hair that like to ask every detail about our operation around here at the nuclear launch site

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 04:41:34

>>21655
>Eduardo

When did the alpha legion get infiltrated by the Crimson Fists?

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 07:26:31

Humanity is best worshipping the old faith over a tyrant who took power from the Gods.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 07:29:58

>>21657

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 07:49:35

>>21657
>Gods
Strip Khorne down to his core and you won't find anything more profound than the lowly serfs on the fields he marauds. The only rational vector for worship is the Almighty, He who is All-Knowing and All-Powerful, for only that is the surest bastion against eternity.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 08:02:37

>>21611
No that's the thing though. Once the president, chief of staff, a few generals get nuked... there is no combined strategic response. The few politicians left are most likely not going to go outside their comfort zone and become military leaders that order more resistance against something that can pinpoint glass us from orbit. Everyone else shrugs and accepts the funny 9ft demihuman as the new boss, then carries on with their life.

>>21612
That's a silly premise. I can believe initial compliance refusal but to what end would any of your '''''qualified'''''' politicians be constantly refusing compliance for?

>>21617
Hitting civilian infrastructure is rarely worthwhile for most marines unless theyre from one of those really sadistic chapters. There might be a situation like rn where dual purpose infrastructure like refineries are hit.. but water? Electricity? We're not xenos, at worst unenlightened heretics.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 08:04:27

>>21660
>We're not xenos, at worst unenlightened heretics.
Yeah, the Imperium hates those, too. They might not hit those targets immediatly but literally nothing is hard off the table for the Imperium.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 08:05:22

>>21627
>pararescue exists in ur path

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 08:05:58

>>21568
>as a species, ork definitively have worse tech
It's debatable whether Orks actually have tech or just will it into working like Eldar do but at a higher level of bullshit.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 08:09:55

>>21661
I will compromise by saying it depends on the chapter. Ultramarines might just see us as a pre-imperial or lost imperial world to be civilised and brought into the imperial fold, while the spess sharks or minotaurs default to genocide.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 08:14:52

>>21590
>Nah, no indian male is manly enough to withstand astartes surgery. They are the second whiniest men on earth after the jews.
They're a high-T phenotype, that's why they're insufferably horny.
Google Indian wrestlers, they'd make acceptable candidates for the Bobs&Vagene chapter.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 08:15:54

>>21554
Okay but are you talking about armor thickness or resistance?

Because it could be like a few mm of ceramite or Adamantium and be stronger than Abrams armour because those are bullshit magic meta-material

>>21647
>Most of the Space Marine's adaptions and cybernetic implants are for long missions
They were built to be frontline soldiers that operated in the hundreds of thousands, then the Heresy cut them down to a fragment of their number and made everyone afraid of huge groups of Astartes so each force is now 1k max unless they're doing a meme loophole, that forced them to switch to small unit operations
>and the lore is full of examples of extremely long campaigns and mission
Yeah and in those campaigns they're operating amongst the vast Imperium war machine that keeps them stocked to the tits

It's a game first. And the game favours having extremely small units of large, powerful models because that's easier to paint and build. It's a rare new player who's insane enough to build an all infantry Imperial Guard army. If Space Marines on the tabletop are operating in extremely small but very points inflated strike forces but going up against 100+ Orks, it just makes sense to justify that in lore by making them SF

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 08:28:23

how bad would things go for lamenters?
>scout companies land in central australia, get mauled/poisoned by wildlife, Earth is declared death world

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 08:32:38

>>21664
>I will compromise by saying it depends on the chapter. Ultramarines might just see us as a pre-imperial or lost imperial world to be civilised and brought into the imperial fold, while the spess sharks or minotaurs default to genocide.
There's a difference between the way chapters treat worlds, but ultimately, like I said, there's no strategies that are fundamentally off the table.

This doesn't mean they'll do them, but there's no guarantee that they won't, even the 'nicer' ones.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 09:12:13

>>21555
40k website

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 09:15:39

>>21558
>>Tau lasers
>Good
"While about the size of an Imperial lasgun, the pulse rifle is far more powerful. It fires a plasma pulse, which is generated when an induction field accelerates a particle which breaks down as it leaves the barrel."

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 09:16:19

>>21665
Disgusting faggots.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 09:50:57

>>21553
Every idiot pogs over Bolters because they're intentionally goofy ass memeshit or they just misunderstand what a gyrojet is and think every single bolter round is the equivalent of an rpg or something.
In universe, bolters are already a weird compromise because the martians lost the dev key to the big machine that prints Volkite guns, which are proper star trek phasers that turn orks into white ashes that blow away in the wind, and are what the space marines would strongly prefer to be using, if they could get it.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 09:55:05

>>21554
Yeah but in my headcanon they're not, which is the most important thing. The writers were not experts in mechanical warfare, they were retards blatantly ripping off sci fi tropes and patching them up together to make a coherent setting for your toy action figures. So their specs are utterly meaningless. It's good for you too, you won't be constrained by arbitrary numbers on a sheet of paper and let your imagination run wild, as it was always the point of old 40k and rogue trader.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 10:46:33

>>21634
I'm not one for marine glazing and think they would die to modern weapons but the FPVs really wouldn't be a problem. They could shut down the power in a large industrialized nation in a day and then all production stops and starvation begins.
Attack energy, then stockpiles, then wait for negotiations while 80% of the population starve. If we seem too smart and get local agriculture going blow up a volcano and cool the earth a few degrees and wait.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 10:50:25

>>21674
>blow up a volcano
How

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 12:40:19

>>21675
Think of it like 40k Orc roleplay.
If the fans think it will happen, it will happen.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 12:41:38

>>21555
Fuck off back to your ukie containment thread

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 17:20:29

>>21666
>Because it could be like a few mm of ceramite or Adamantium and be stronger than Abrams armour because those are bullshit magic meta-material
Sorry the tanks were given pitiful ratings and it was explicitly said to be in conventional steel equivalent.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 17:25:34

>>21553
120mm gun, btw.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 17:35:46

>>21673
They're not meant to be better than an Abrams. They're supposed to be crap kludged together by a dying empire for use in soviet human waves and ww2 style tactics. Anything past the 1970s is meant to be elite stuff. Regular guardsmen fight with laser-FALs and soft armor flak jackets, and die like russian conscripts assaulting a Ukrainian border because that's the point!

The whole damn point of 40k's aesthetic, setting aside the historical wargaming aspect, is 'what if Britons got to larp as russians and africans? How can we make a setting where this happens'

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 19:38:02

>>21630
Aside from looted carnifexes, what loot does tyranids have

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 20:11:00

>>21681
teeth you zoggin' git

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 21:13:29

>>21682
>teeth
Damn humie doesn't even know how to spell teef.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 21:51:37

If world building prioritizes aesthetics over its own lore logics, then it is simply bad writing.
There's a big difference in things making at least some sense and fans needing to scour through wikis and codex books just to grasp what the hell is going on.
For example, I don't need a whole wikipedia to understand that in Legend of Galactic Heroes, space ships are slim because they fire very accurate neutron beams at each other at extreme ranges, so they want to reduce target profile.
In 40k, Leman Russ resembles a WW1 Mk.1 tank with a turret on top because IT LOOKS COOL MMMKAY?!?!
Behind the grim dark settings and masculine space crusaders lies a lore as shallow as a girl's dress up flash game.
My personal gripe is that ever since Star Wars, world building in sci-fi stopped making sense, and is all about factors of cool.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:03:17

>>21684
Are you retarded? The problem is that the franchise was started in the 80s, with no logic or reason going into anything. It was basically cyberpunk fantasy in space.
By the early 2000s, when 40k started to gain some mainstream traction, all they could do was try to fit the established lore into a more serious framework, with the alternative being retconning or removing everything that makes 40k what it is.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:23:27

>>21685
If a fictional world presents itself seriously and want me to immerse myself with their high fidelity mercs and media pieces, but never makes sense, then it's just shit.
Just because it was made by a group of boomer nerds, doesn't excuse itself of having garbage writing.
As a matter of fact, the problem is a solvable one. Transformer movie redesigned the robots because blocky toys didn't make sense in a live action film. And it was a mega hit.
Warhammer never really bothered to redesign things, just a bunch of mental gymnastics rewrites over different editions because it's a shitty larp lore that collapses on itself. If at all, they tried to pull the "primaris" shit and was badly received. Lmao.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:11:49

>>21672
They phased out volkite guns because it was extremely difficult to produce and maintain compared to bolters.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:30:46

>>21686
>Transformer movie redesigned the robots
Yeah, they did a terrible job and made them even more nonsensical. The toys and the original cartoon actually made far more sense, given that they could literally transform, and actually had big pieces of armor, while the Bay movies basically exposed half of their internal parts.
Hell, the fact that you're defending what is arguably some of the trashiest movies ever speaks volumes about you, given what you're trying to criticize. Sure, there's plenty of shit to criticize about 40k, but I can't think of anything more retarded than using the Bay Transformers movies to make that point.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:33:39

>>21554
Canonically, their standard tanks take hits that would catastrophically overkill an Abrams and shrug it off.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:39:02

>>21689
Except for when they don't.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:43:23

>>21613
LMAO. Lasguns pack more punch than anything short of a battle rifle loading some pissing hit custom rounds. While allowing the user to carry more ammo than they could with a 5.56, being stupid rugged and easy to maintain and absolutely braindead easy to use given you don't even have to worry about bullet drop or windage.

Every military in existence would give their left nut to get those things into production.

>>21681
Spiffy trophies galore.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-05 00:07:10

>>21688
You seem upset. Settle down okay?

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-05 00:21:29

>>21692
>You seem upset.
How so?

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-05 00:37:57

>>21592
The Valks are armored as well as the space bmp. Honestly the valk is a great vehicle, cost is prob its only limiting factor

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-05 01:37:04

>>21691
>Lasguns pack more punch than anything short of a battle rifle loading some pissing hit custom rounds.
Under ideal conditions. Atmosphere is a real motherfucker when it comes to DEW and explains why sometimes they can blow limbs off and others they're less dangerous than a .22 lr.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-05 02:10:53

>>21693
Ah, the fabled calibrated question! To match your vibe - You see, I'd love to answer your question, I really do. But you are clouded by your emotions right now. Calm down and we can continue to talk about Transformers and Space Marines in civilized manner

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-05 11:04:53

>>21553
Plasma time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpK4fcFNKbM

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-05 11:19:35

>>21686
The 40K setting does not present itself seriously. Some fans do take it seriously however, and wank endlessly over its powerlevel, and think the Imperium makes sense instead of being a bunch of techno-barbarians retards using tech they barely understand. Unfortunately, they happen to be the loudest ones.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-05 11:37:41

>>21672
Volkite guns were just mall cop/police weaponry during humanity's peak.

The first Dork Angels were the only legion to use them en masse, the first Solar Auxilia lifted from old Earth all used lasguns from the very beginning with only officers owning Volkite weapons.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-05 12:14:35

Why didn't gomperor stop the robot war?

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-05 15:57:49

>>21680
no not even remotely. if you talk about stuff like the macharius shit box i could maybe agree with you. but when you talk about baneblades & co, they're supposed to come from the age of magic tier tech. just by having their designs in an stc means that they're hyper advanced machines, the cream of the crop, the deus ex machina that will flatten your enemies and win the war weren't they so few in numbers and so poorly understood. moreover, i refuse to believe a space faring giga empire turning entire planets into factories only makes ww2 era tanks inside of them.

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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-05 16:06:44

>>21698
>The 40K setting does not present itself seriously
oh it does, and canonically did for more than 20 years. the campy days of half eldar ultramarines and inquisitor obi wan sherlock clusseau are over, they have been for more than you were alive, so don't pretend to be the only one who understands this setting. so when you see people taking it seriously, it's because they don't see the "2000 ad meets dune" ripoff, they see starship troopers but with gothic aesthetic.

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