>don’t want coworkers to know my main hobbies are watching anime and jerking off
>for years any time they ask what I’m doing I tell them grilling
>fast forward to yesterday
>”hey anon gonna have the famous grill going for the 4th?”
>haha you know it
>hey why don’t a few of us drop by to try some
>blurt out “sure!” without thinking
They are gonna be here in about 5 hours. I have never even touched a grill in my life. The previous owner of my property left one of these little round ones like in pic related, but I can’t even find the fucking on switch to make it get hot.
Is there some kind of trick I can use to get through tonight with them still believing all those years of lies about me grilling? Or should I think about getting a new job?
Grilling emergency
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Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 20:09:43
>>20371
5 hours...
That should be enough time to watch the first season of Shokugeki no Souma, that should give you some ideas maybe.
Taking 45 minutes to pleasure yourself to hotties from the show leaves you with... about 15 for prep.
You got this, OP
5 hours...
That should be enough time to watch the first season of Shokugeki no Souma, that should give you some ideas maybe.
Taking 45 minutes to pleasure yourself to hotties from the show leaves you with... about 15 for prep.
You got this, OP
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 20:13:34
You've lied to them for years so just lie one more time and text everyone that something came up and you're gonna have to cancel. You lie a lot, you'll figure out something.
How the fuck is this even a question? How do people go through life?
How the fuck is this even a question? How do people go through life?
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 20:22:34
>>20372
He is looking for the on button on a charcoal grill, I don’t think 5 hours is gonna be enough time to get him where he needs to be
Plus, don’t they only ever do restaurant style cooking in that series?
He is looking for the on button on a charcoal grill, I don’t think 5 hours is gonna be enough time to get him where he needs to be
Plus, don’t they only ever do restaurant style cooking in that series?
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 20:26:01
>>20374
Dunno, never saw it. Don't really watch cooking shows. Some good eating shows recently, Meido-san ha Taberu dake last season was nice. Koufuku Graffiti is my all-time favorite, such a good show.
Dunno, never saw it. Don't really watch cooking shows. Some good eating shows recently, Meido-san ha Taberu dake last season was nice. Koufuku Graffiti is my all-time favorite, such a good show.
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 20:26:52
>>20374
Yeah he should just take a bat to the grill he'd never use anyway, order takeout, and tell people who come over that he damaged it moving it outside. OP is probably too stupid though so he'll probably just fuck up trying to cook something and get blown out by his coworkers.
Yeah he should just take a bat to the grill he'd never use anyway, order takeout, and tell people who come over that he damaged it moving it outside. OP is probably too stupid though so he'll probably just fuck up trying to cook something and get blown out by his coworkers.
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 20:31:41
>>20371
Have you considered purchasing fast food and passing it off as your own cooking?
Have you considered purchasing fast food and passing it off as your own cooking?
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 20:33:04
>>20371
you legitimately have a steamed hams situation on your hands. please apply the lesson well.
>>20377 knows what's up
you legitimately have a steamed hams situation on your hands. please apply the lesson well.
>>20377 knows what's up
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 20:44:06
>>20371
watching tv and jerking off are not hobbies. those are pastimes. hobby implies skill-growth.
watching tv and jerking off are not hobbies. those are pastimes. hobby implies skill-growth.
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 20:45:49
>>20379
Jerking off takes skill, especially after you do it so often you are desensitized
Jerking off takes skill, especially after you do it so often you are desensitized
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 20:55:11
>>20380
It’s even more of a skill when you have to jerk someone else off
It’s even more of a skill when you have to jerk someone else off
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 20:57:37
Tell them you have the shits so you dont want company
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 21:26:47
>>20371
your coworkers know you've been bullshitting them and they called your bluff. you're fucked. even if you manage to pull yourself together and buy some charcoal and sausages in the next few hours, a) I doubt you'll be able to pull off anything that suggests you have years of grilling experience, and b) a guy who's main hobby and passion is grilling isn't going to just have some dinky little round grill, he would have some serious equipment. so I mean, you can pull a George Constanza if you want and commit to the bit, but your coworkers most likely know you're full of shit and I doubt you'll be able to convince them otherwise. just call it off. say you have to attend to an emergency. they'll know that's bullshit too, but at least you won't embarrass yourself in front of them. and in the future, just tell people you're into video games or something. nobody actually cares that much about what you do in your free time.
your coworkers know you've been bullshitting them and they called your bluff. you're fucked. even if you manage to pull yourself together and buy some charcoal and sausages in the next few hours, a) I doubt you'll be able to pull off anything that suggests you have years of grilling experience, and b) a guy who's main hobby and passion is grilling isn't going to just have some dinky little round grill, he would have some serious equipment. so I mean, you can pull a George Constanza if you want and commit to the bit, but your coworkers most likely know you're full of shit and I doubt you'll be able to convince them otherwise. just call it off. say you have to attend to an emergency. they'll know that's bullshit too, but at least you won't embarrass yourself in front of them. and in the future, just tell people you're into video games or something. nobody actually cares that much about what you do in your free time.
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 21:33:12
wait until they are all inside your home then say "alrighty, lets start grilling!" and put on your favorite japanese cartoon and begin to masturbate.
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 21:37:01
>>20384
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:07:22
>>20371
>I have never even touched a grill in my life
trust me.
>I have never even touched a grill in my life
trust me.
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:20:29
I refuse to believe this happened. Enjoy your anime and masturbation.
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:25:49
>>20381
True it's genuinely very difficult to jerk someone else off unless they're sensitive because too many men have masturbated for so long they know exactly what they want out of it. I could never get my ex off with a handjob, it was demoralizing.
True it's genuinely very difficult to jerk someone else off unless they're sensitive because too many men have masturbated for so long they know exactly what they want out of it. I could never get my ex off with a handjob, it was demoralizing.
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:26:45
>>20381
Yeah fuck that. When I'm rubbing a bitches clit and she's like right there, and I move even .01 cm and then it's not 'there' anymore. She can double click her own mouse nawnsayin'?
Yeah fuck that. When I'm rubbing a bitches clit and she's like right there, and I move even .01 cm and then it's not 'there' anymore. She can double click her own mouse nawnsayin'?
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:27:32
>>20386
That is brilliant. Would the ceramic ever get too hot and break from the charcoal?
That is brilliant. Would the ceramic ever get too hot and break from the charcoal?
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:29:42
>>20388
Sucks to be you. I make my man ‘splode all the time.
Sucks to be you. I make my man ‘splode all the time.
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:32:05
>>20386
All fun and games until you're 25 beers deep and absent mindedly sit on it and burn your balls off
All fun and games until you're 25 beers deep and absent mindedly sit on it and burn your balls off
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:33:57
>>20388
agreed. it's the height of hubris for women to even think about offering a handie.
agreed. it's the height of hubris for women to even think about offering a handie.
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:35:04
>>20375
>Koufuku Graffiti is my all-time favorite
good taste
>Koufuku Graffiti is my all-time favorite
good taste
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:35:35
>>20371
>Or should I think about getting a new job?
>Or should I think about getting a new job?
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:36:30
>>20391
>>20393
Like I said my EX. My current bf I can get off with one finger
>>20393
Like I said my EX. My current bf I can get off with one finger
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:38:02
>>20391
>>20396
you both better be pretty girls
>>20396
you both better be pretty girls
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:40:46
>>20397
Nope. And I live a much better life than you do. :^)
Nope. And I live a much better life than you do. :^)
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:41:46
>>20392
25? I drank 15 the other day and I felt like I might've died.
25? I drank 15 the other day and I felt like I might've died.
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:42:04
>>20397
Dude, you are not talking to biological girls, LMAO
Dude, you are not talking to biological girls, LMAO
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:42:46
>>20397
Guilty as charged <3
Guilty as charged <3
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 22:46:14
>>20399
Meant to type 15 lol but I'm sure some true patriots will hit 25
Meant to type 15 lol but I'm sure some true patriots will hit 25
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:02:18
>>20402
100 beers
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WzN-X-haYa0
100 beers
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WzN-X-haYa0
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:04:39
>>20377
Update - this is the option I went with. I drove 90 minutes away to a small shop that had a 4th of July special on ready to eat hot dogs fresh off their grill. About 10 minutes before I’ll pop them in the microwave to get them real hot so they feel fresh off the grill.
I get everyone a dog and a Keystone and I think I can pull this off
Update - this is the option I went with. I drove 90 minutes away to a small shop that had a 4th of July special on ready to eat hot dogs fresh off their grill. About 10 minutes before I’ll pop them in the microwave to get them real hot so they feel fresh off the grill.
I get everyone a dog and a Keystone and I think I can pull this off
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:07:52
>>20377
Ho ho ho, delightfully devilish, Anonymous
Ho ho ho, delightfully devilish, Anonymous
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:08:03
>>20404
Brother they will know
Brother they will know
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:13:16
>>20404
You got this anon, don't listen to the haters people will be happy just to eat some food and drink, even if some suspect no one is gonna be a cunt about it. And IF they are, great now you know they're not worth your time
You got this anon, don't listen to the haters people will be happy just to eat some food and drink, even if some suspect no one is gonna be a cunt about it. And IF they are, great now you know they're not worth your time
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:21:18
>>20404
>keystone
Great idea, that will make certain they never want to come back
>keystone
Great idea, that will make certain they never want to come back
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:23:39
>>20404
brother in 90 minutes you could.havw just bought charcoal and a pack of hot dogs. microwaving dogs is gonna fuck up the texture, and don't you think they will notice that the grill isn't even on? you're fucked lmao. should have just called the whole thing off.
brother in 90 minutes you could.havw just bought charcoal and a pack of hot dogs. microwaving dogs is gonna fuck up the texture, and don't you think they will notice that the grill isn't even on? you're fucked lmao. should have just called the whole thing off.
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:25:07
>>20406
Depends, are these actual foodies? Or just coworkers trying to be inclusive? If it’s the latter, he might actually pull this off. He had enough brains to drive well out of the way to a non chain establishment. If he said they were having burgers then went to Burger King, yea he would be hosed.
I think he has built up enough layers here where he might barely make it
Depends, are these actual foodies? Or just coworkers trying to be inclusive? If it’s the latter, he might actually pull this off. He had enough brains to drive well out of the way to a non chain establishment. If he said they were having burgers then went to Burger King, yea he would be hosed.
I think he has built up enough layers here where he might barely make it
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:26:54
>>20410
everytime ive gone to a bbq the act of grilling was part of the hang, never have i gone somewhere with everything precooked
everytime ive gone to a bbq the act of grilling was part of the hang, never have i gone somewhere with everything precooked
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:28:23
>>20409
>the grill isn’t even on
By the sound of it, he doesn’t even have a grill in the first place. He has a hand me down one of those little $40 charcoal bowl grills, which more often than not are just rainwater collectors if left outside
>the grill isn’t even on
By the sound of it, he doesn’t even have a grill in the first place. He has a hand me down one of those little $40 charcoal bowl grills, which more often than not are just rainwater collectors if left outside
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:30:28
>>20411
Seems like the easiest of the many layers of lies this requires
>hey guys I figured everyone would be hungry so I got a jump start on the grill so we wouldn’t have to wait
Seems like the easiest of the many layers of lies this requires
>hey guys I figured everyone would be hungry so I got a jump start on the grill so we wouldn’t have to wait
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:34:25
>>20404
>he is a actually gonna try to Seymour his way out of this shit
I really want you to succeed
>he is a actually gonna try to Seymour his way out of this shit
I really want you to succeed
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:37:34
>>20404
post dogs
post dogs
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:45:47
>>20397
Im just here to masturbate to the cute transsexuals.
Happy 4th
Im just here to masturbate to the cute transsexuals.
Happy 4th
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:49:15
>>20412
that's fucking hilarious. it's going to.be so obvious that's it's never been used. OP, you still have time to call this off and avoid serving a bunch of guys microwaved hot dogs and exposing yourself as a liar.
that's fucking hilarious. it's going to.be so obvious that's it's never been used. OP, you still have time to call this off and avoid serving a bunch of guys microwaved hot dogs and exposing yourself as a liar.
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:54:52
>>20371
Dude just grill some brats, you'll be fine. Don't overthink it
Dude just grill some brats, you'll be fine. Don't overthink it
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-04 23:55:17
>>20417
All he has to do is keep them out of the yard and they will never know
All he has to do is keep them out of the yard and they will never know
Anonymous · reply · 2026-07-05 00:00:12
Time for an update OP. Show us the dogs
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